My zippy little Fit is in the shop for a little dent-removal TLC following that bizarre hailstorm a few weeks ago. So now — as my insurance covers a rental, thank goodness — I’m driving around town in some massive Dodge station wagon/SUV thing (my first Enterprise loaner was a much more manageable Civic, but it reeked of cigarette smoke, and I find breathing essential to safe driving, don’t you?).

This vehicle is classified as a “compact,” but is about as agile as a Tolkien oliphant. Switching the turn signal starts at my left shoulder rather than the usual ring-finger flick. Shifting from drive to reverse stresses that upper back muscle that’s been aching ever since I took a desk job some 10 months ago.

Parking this thing in Shadyside over my lunch break was even more stressful than the $60 Sephora bill that followed (better to be addicted to Nars blush and Bare Escentuals primer, I say, than crack cocaine or corn syrup).

Pittsburgh is made for small, sprightly cars that are easy on the gas budget and can navigate tight turns, parking chairs and narrow alleys doubling as major throughways (hello, Bloomfield). Anything else is completely impractical.

How do you regularly drive such vehicular monsters and stay sane, I ask you, dear The Rest of Pittsburgh??