Plea for Smoking Ban in Pittsburgh Bars

Routine:

1) Strip.
2) Set clothes, down to socks and underthings, in single layer in close proximity to HEPA-grade air purifier.
3) Let filter do its thing for a day or two or three.
4) Hot shower.
5) Wash hair. Twice.
6 Neti Pot out the ash-colored snot.
7) Those artificial tear drops.
8) Dab corners of eyes to remove what might be soot, might be mascara.
9) Apply salve to upper-arm cigarette burn.
10) Denounce hellbound bonehead who smokes on the dancefloor.
11) Sleep a few hours until awakened by eau de cigarette.
12) Despite best efforts, body and bed smell of smoke come morning.
13) Contemplate laundering sheets, but decide on Netflix Instant instead.
14) Worry about second-hand cancer, and firsthand too.
15) Brunch.